Tag Archives: counseling

The Fight For Self Worth

Whenever horrible men make sex slaves out of women, their first code of conduct is to remove the fight for self worth. When somebody cannot steal your worth, he cannot control you. Anyone abusive will start by making you feel stupid, insignificant and value-less. Guilt trips, shame and embarrassment are threats to self worth. We all need to know we are loved and valuable. What we actually need to do is feed ourselves (and others to whom we may minister), the truth about the infinite value God gave us. We need to remind ourselves that God made us in His image and He esteems us as valuable and worth the price He paid on the cross. Satan’s number one goal is to steal your feeling of worth. Grace is the opposite of shame, it is giving someone value. Shame removes value and churches need to understand that shame and guilt are not part of the gospel of Christ; value and grace go together. Christ set us free from shame.

Human worth is invaluable (cannot be measured.) We are not mere worms or dirty  rags that are tossed aside until we do something worthwhile. We are His workmanship, created for worthwhile things (Eph 2:10). We never lose our worth even if we roll in the mud or sin or get maimed. Ministries that demean your worth by teaching that “our righteousness is as filthy rags” quite mistake the verse to mean that we are worthless as unbelievers or not valuable without Christ. If that were true, why would anyone bother to save the unbeliever? All people are valuable and should be honored as such by being told that God highly esteems them and loves them deeply. Only by rejecting Jesus will humans be separated from God by their own choice.

Guilt, shame, fear and depression are stemmed from feelings of diminished worth. These are causes of mental illnesses too, such as bipolar depression. In my case I discovered that even though I know God values me and I know I am valuable, I struggle to feel valuable unless I can prove my worth to myself and others. I want to be healthy and successful in order to prove my worth. But that’s not going to help me feel valuable. Constantly trying to prove our worth only inhibits us from receiving grace. I believe that by acknowledging our worth,  we can finally begin to let God’s grace flow into our lives. Healing will manifest in our body when we know our worth. We will see results where we see value. If a person believes they are more or even less valuable due to his disability, grace can’t flow. Faith is short-circuited. Minister value to those who need healing. A person struggling with embarrassment, shame, guilt, self consciousness and fear struggles to receive healing. Ask a person who has not been able to receive healing whether the disability changes his feelings of worth. Help him to confess his own worth and this should start a chain reaction.

Some people blame someone every time they speak.  In our tones and phrases or the look on our faces, the Accuser is there like a Short-haired Pointer or pointerlaser-lock gun looking for someone to blame. All too often this comes from even the best of ministers. Healing ministry plays a blame game too; when healing hasn’t manifested yet, who is at fault? Some say it’s God saying “not today,” some say the minister needs to fast and pray; still others say the receiver of prayer needs his faith-antennae adjusted. Regardless of the kink in the faith cord, God’s grace is the soothing salve that comforts those tripped up by guilt.

God‘s grace is the guilt remover that will pry those fiery darts out of our bleeding hearts.  Prayer that causes the receiver to limp away more wounded than when he came is not edifying. We must be careful not to cripple those in need more than they already are. Telling the prayee to “expect” to be healed is a pressurized guilt-cooker waiting to explode. If there is no apparent change, the receiver may feel like a failure because they “tried” to expect, turned up their receiver and still no results. The minister can help by using his gifts of the spirit, like words of knowledge, visions or simply prophesy! Unprepared and fearless prayer will be faith-building and exciting. The receiver will not leave empty-handed if you connect him to the Holy Spirit. You can do this! Operating in the spiritual gifts is an on-demand tool, like tongues. You can always turn it on. Inviting people up for a shot of the Holy Spirit with a chaser of grace is a sure thing and very appealing. Healing will certainly be a part of ministry but a spiritual re-charge should be guaranteed with every laying-on of hands. Removing guilt and shame is a priority. Take the pressure off the prayee by applying grace. God wants to apply the salve of His grace to the hearts of guilt-ridden people. Remove guilt, build up their worth and value. God is excited and even proud of us. Let His people know. I’m more excited to hear from God than to leave the prayer line wondering what’s wrong with me and why healing hasn’t manifested. Leaving the prayer line guilty and frustrated must stop.

God sang a song to me and asked me to sing it out loud to myself from Him to me. And to my children and grandchildren. Try it. It will heal your soul and then your body, I believe. I think you’ll know the tune.

You are so valuable to meeee; You are so valuable…to meeee; can’t you seeeeeeeee? You’re everything I’ve hoped for..you’re everything I neeeeed;    You are so valuablllllle….to meeeee

Let this song sink into you and out toward others through your eyes and valuableyour attitude. Everyone needs to know they are valuable. Value is the key that unlocks the door to every solution we need. My value does not come from my body’s health, my weight, my ability to cook, how many children I have, my marital status, my family, my knowledge or my wealth. My worth and value is from God because He created me in His image. “And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness” (Gen 1:26) If you don’t believe this basic thing, if you believe in accidental evolution, you struggle for self worth. We were created for His pleasure and relationship with Him. Stop searching for your value and stop proving your worth. Your existence is valuable and you can rest from your struggle to prove it. Once you know this, grace can affect you and flow where you need it.

For information on how to apply your faith, read examples in my blog testimonies like Mountains And Molehills and my Youtube videos like I’m Still Here  ; Aggressive Faith! ;  I was Always Sick ; Mark’s Healings