Over the years of being handicapped (or “disabled”, whatever, there’s no good word) I’m going to say, I’m not a better person because of it; I’m a better person in spite of it. I have no agreement with the idea that God uses these things to make us better people. Disability  is the most self-centered place in the world. Divorce was the next most selfish time in my life, on my list. The focus on myself during this whole period of time since the accident is sickening. I’ve had to resist the constant focus on the disability with everything I have in me. Thank God I had 5 children to help me focus on someone other than myself.

One time I went to a Joyce Meyer conference and I arrived early with guests to figure out where I would be seated in my wheelchair. We couldn’t find a spot even in the handicapped section for my guests and me. I saw rows of chairs for people who walk but nothing to accommodate my wheelchair with them, no space on the side. People were scrambling trying to figure out where I could sit. I wheeled around the front of the chairs and stared at the empty seats, hands on my hips, and out loud I said to myself, “what about me?!” Suddenly I gasped and looked around with my hand covering my mouth, embarrassed and shocked at what I heard coming from my own heart; of all things to say at a Joyce Meyer conference! Joyce is famous for her what-about-me robot  she always performs on stage while teaching on selfishness. I felt I had sunk to the epitome of selfishness right there.

I hate disabilities, as I should. God hates them too. Remember, “the devil comes to steal, kill and destroy; Jesus came that we would have life!” John 10:10  The focus on disability is completely opposite of God’s call on our lives and must be resisted to be healed. I do have caregivers and many wonderful accommodations to allow me to live very well as a C-6 quadriplegic. I’m blessed beyond measure. But like Joseph was blessed while in prison, I’m still in prison and it’s not right. I want others to know sooner than I did, what to do as soon as tragedy hits.

Know who your enemy is and what he uses to defeat you. Sickness is from the devil. If you don’t know that, you will embrace illness, disease and disability instead of fighting and resisting. God is the good Guy. Everything good comes from God and there is no mystery about what is good and what is bad. Jesus came that we might have life and that abundantly. Living with disabilities is living with death, not life. Romans 8:2 says “The law of the spirit of life in Christ has made me free from the law of sin and death.”